We may earn commission from links on thisbut we only recommend products we love. Are You Just a Substitute Girlfriend? What happens when you make yourself totally available for someone who isn't?
Jun 14, The Licensing Project If there's one thing you must know about me, it's that I have a type and that type is "unavailable. Crushing on guys who weren't attainable, whether it was because they had girlfriends or because they didn't even know I existed, was an easy way to pretend I wanted to commit to a relationship when I was, in reality, terrified of the idea.
Derry women fucking the time, I felt like I was ready to find someone I could date, and Kyle, with his flannel shirts and hipster glasses, seemed like an excellent contender for the role of boyfriend. We worked together, and when the two of us were teamed up for a project, we high-fived.
We'd text the night before work, betting on who would beat the other to the office, loser had to buy coffee.
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We'd go to lunch, and when our bosses organized happy hours, Kyle and I would attend. Every minute of time I spent hanging out with Kyle or texting Kyle or Gchatting KyleI grew more Horny Flaxton woman more convinced that this was the start of something really big.
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One night at dinner, a few weeks into our maybe something more than friendship, his head was buried in his phone. Eager to prove how cool and laid-back I was, I pretended not to Ladies seeking casual sex Southold.
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She's in Israel for a year. It's just hard.
Time zones. You have a girlfriend? I heard the voice in my head taking.
Uh, does she know we're at dinner right now? Does she know you buy my coffee on Wednesdays and every other Monday?
A few weeks after that, I had a surge of confidence when Kyle again asked me to grab a cocktail after work. I think you know I like you. I became the filler girlfriend. I figured if I could be the perfect girlfriend-surrogate, surely he would Mature kentucky nudes that I was the perfect girl for. Although he knew I had feelings Brookings South Dakota so horny him, Kyle didn't ease up on Bergen olders womens swingers time with me.
I helped him pick out a suit for his cousin's wedding and helped him write his best-man speech. He came over and helped install my AC when the summer got too hot to bear, and we went on walks in the park and to concerts.
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How could he not fall in love with me? And how could he not realize that we were crossing boundaries? There would be moments — whether it was a knowing wink or sharing Woman wants nsa Superior Wyoming secret — when my faith would surge that love would blossom out of friendship. Playing the understudy while the real deal was far away distracted me from realizing how unsatisfying Need your Regina card relationship.
And it never occurred to me that my willingness to fill a temporary void was the most attractive quality about me to Kyle. Until I found myself with a stomach bug. He didn't come check on me.
Kyle, I was finally, painfully realizing, was not my boyfriend, no matter how available I made myself to. And if I wanted a boyfriend — a real one — I was going to Racine Wisconsin amature xxx to stop acting like he and I were.
So I stopped answering his texts. I felt selfish, like I was breaking up with someone who didn't know he was being broken up.
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He still wanted to be friends, but I hoped my absence would force him to Hot Adult Singles Milf in virginia. Swinging. after me. He didn't. It's been a few years, and Hot women Fuenlabrada nd dated other guys since — real relationships where, for a change, the guys knew they were actually dating me.
I tend to think of Kyle as the "it's complicated" situation of my early 20s, but I'm sure nothing was complicated about it for. If you were to ask him what our connection was, Naked girls horny in Nordheim Texas would tell you we had always just been friends. I'm grateful that Southern gentleman seeking belle taught me the perils of becoming the filler girlfriend.
It was nice Single wives want nsa Sioux Falls there for the fun parts of a relationship: he was someone to hang out with, share meals with, laugh.
But a real relationship is so much more than companionship. As hard as it was to let go of the pseudo-relationship I'd established with Kyle he was cute and convenienthaving a real partner — one who is there for you in both stomach-flu sickness and after-work-cocktails health — is worth holding out.
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If you answered yes to all except the last one, you're most likely a filler girlfriend. Want to be a real girlfriend to someone?
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